Posts on Twitter and Facebook on Nov 10th (Marine Corp Birthday) and Nov 11th Veterans day got me to looking once again at how we use labels. I was objecting to posts that seemed to me to be denouncing veterans and questioning the hero label being attached to them. This post from someone I respect made me stop and re-think instead of just reacting “We can’t keep glorifying unjust wars by calling the people who are victimized by it heroes.” I actually had a stronger emotional reaction to having Veterans labeled as victims then I did to people not wanting to call them heroes.
I grew up with the Vietnam “War” on televison, I was in the Marine Corp at the end of what is called the Vietnam Era and I was married for 30 years to a Vietnam veteran (Vietnam/Agent Orange finally took him in 2016) developed my perspective of the word hero for all Veterans. I absolutely in no way shape or form would ever glorify that ungodly, immoral, just wrong war or any war! The Vietnam war was and still is the thing that nightmares are made from for everyone involved. I am not writing this to make a justification for my feelings. This blog is about what I learned when I researched the labels being used that were causing the disagreements. I have found that when I have that strong of an emotional reaction it means I need to dig deeper to heal something in me and I was right.
I started by looking up the definitions of the labels being used:
Definition of victim (noun):
- one that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent
- a(1): one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions
- (2): one that is subjected to oppression, hardship, or mistreatment
- b: one that is tricked or duped a con man’s victim
- a person who is deceived or cheated, as by his or her own emotions or ignorance, by the dishonesty of others, or by some impersonal agency
- a(1): one that is injured, destroyed, or sacrificed under any of various conditions
- a living being sacrificed to a deity or in the performance of a religious rite
- a person or animal sacrificed or regarded as sacrificed: war victims.
These definitions are all over the place so it is no wonder that in discussions we disagree on whether the label is correct of not. So in these conversations I agree that veterans are victims as “one that is acted on and usually adversely affected by a force or agent”. I realized my reaction was more about a concern that by labeling veterans as victims we may be setting up or reinforcing a victim consciousness for that person.
Victim consciousness
Victim consciousness—occurs when I believe and feel that everything is happening TO ME. I am a victim of the world I see and experience. I have little or no control about what is happening to me.
The victim mentality rests on three key beliefs:
Bad things happen and will keep happening.
Other people or circumstances are to blame.
Any efforts to create change will fail, so there’s no point in trying.
For more about Victim consciousness go to :https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/inviting-monkey-tea/201801/are-you-ready-stop-feeling-victim
Victim consciousness is not a state of mind that is good for anyone and breaking away from it can be very difficult and can take a lot of courage.
Definition of hero
- 1 a: a mythological or legendary figure often of divine descent endowed with great strength or ability
- b: an illustrious warrior
- c: a person admired for achievements and noble qualities
- a person who, in the opinion of others, has special achievements, abilities, or personal qualities and is regarded as a role model or ideal
- d: one who shows great courage
- a person noted for courageous acts or nobility of character:
- 2 a: the principal male character in a story, play, film, etc.
- b: the central figure in an event, period, or movement
- 3 Classical Mythology
- a being of godlike prowess and beneficence who often came to be honored as a divinity.
- (in the Homeric period) a warrior-chieftain of special strength, courage, or ability.
- (in later antiquity) an immortal being; demigod.
When I say veterans deserve to be called hero’s I am thinking of a person “who shows great courage“. A person who came through the victimization, overcame and/or learned from the experience. Many veterans have done that, many are still stuck in victimization consciousness because they do not have the tools or support needed to heal from the trauma. Calling them victims can reinforce that mind set.
I definitely see that if you think of a hero as “a person admired for achievements and noble qualities” it would hard to use it in conjunction with most acts done in war. Remember, that even in immoral wars there are cases where an individual can act nobly – heroically, just being a veteran does not make you a hero using this definition.
So would it be better to use the term survivor instead of hero?
survivor (noun)
- a person who continues to function or prosper in spite of opposition, hardship, or setbacks.
- transitive verb:
- 1: to remain alive after the death of – he is survived by his wife
- 2: to continue to exist or live after – survived the earthquake
- 3: to continue to function or prosper despite : WITHSTAND
- transitive verb:
Again my own history decides how I understand a word. I was called a survivor a lot in my life and it honestly never really felt good. To me survivor meant I could take care of myself and didn’t need help. I really could have used some help now and again. Surviving to me doesn’t mean being happy or fulfilled it means putting one foot in front of the other as you slog forward. Admittedly the definitions about do not support my understanding completely because the word “prosper” is to flourish. However, “in spite of” and “withstand” both are not ways I want to live.
So what label best describes veterans who have been victimized by war? The ones who doing the work to on move forward? The ones learning from their experiences to become better because of what they experienced not in spite of it? I still think HERO – courage!
I ask everyone to truly think about what labels they attach to others and how those labels may impact them. We use way to many labels and those labels will elicit emotional and mental reactions in those who use them and those they are assigned to. I know that the disagreements I had on social media impacted me and others I respected who I disagreed with. I understand where they were coming from now by understanding my own bias to the labels being used.
Please chime in respectfully, I am open to other interpretations, understanding others view points helps me grow and helps me be a better advocate for children,
BE FOR KIDS 
Thank you for expressing your feelings on this. Many subjects require and deserve more than labels and slogans to describe them. I agree with all that you have said here.
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